To Heal Without Your F@#* You Good Bye!

I know you have been there, I have been there with your glass of wine. Lights down low, Adele playing and you are singing your ass off to Set Fire To The Rain.  I tend to be a very much a music person. I relate to music very much when healing. On top of it I sing, thank god I have fabulous vocal cords, or my children would kill me.

Now I can tell you I did read everything from every issue we (my ex and me) had online. I cried; I screamed, and I called whom I trusted enough to talk about it. I can tell you on no matter whatever the subject at hand and I think I can talk about it all. SO when I say can talk about it let me list it?

Drugs and I mean, not the medical kind that you bake and you buy in CO. We are talking about your Nose or Hey Miss. Whitney or Hey Bobby you got anymore?

Sex not with me, Oh god no. You know how many Aids test you can have. I should have invested in stocks!

Sex with women, and ugly too!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Sex with men and ugly too!

Sex with Both and both were ugly too!

Over 5000 emails to you name it had a pee pee talk!

Let's do not forget all the lies, and more lies, all the money that was spent on drugs. Everything that was lost and due to drugs and lies being made by one person.

Major Wino and Loved to drink anything that that was not from your local grocery store. Had to come a liquor store. 

The number one: This one is a Blog event of its own. You noticed I said EVENT! Yes, Event Purple people eater Dildo. Oh, I went there, yes Sir. However, that will need a two bottles of wine. Hell, maybe a drive to CO. then write about it because it is an Event!

So now what to do there is a very upset, broken confused bitter, heavy heart that now is afraid to be with her husband. That was the downfall of my beautiful marriage to a millionaire that I walked away from after seven years. You know how many fuck you’s are be  owed to this man. So many of a Million times 3 billion.

So I am going to tell you something that will save you some time. So yes as you can see my list of Oh Holy what the Crap what! Can this actually happen, you have no idea. I would be more than glad to prove it in so many ways let me tell the ways. That is not where we are at this point in the blog yet. We are at the healing process at the moment. Well, the first thing is Whatever you do is don’t go back to the Barbarian! That is number one, Danger Houston!  That is your kryptonite stay away, plus they do not care nor them going to give you what you want to know. If they did, they would have told you already what you wanted to hear. It is like a broken record, you have asked them and nothing. That is what the point of why your butt is crying now. 

Acceptance is high, but at this point there is a thing called fuck it.  So you have a SOB of a partner. If some us have had An enjoyable experience then you are very lucky, and I know it is there. I have seen it, and I believe in it. So don’t take me as is this Jaded Bitch. I just have “The I Do not Care Face Look”.  Becoming sad and crying plus  went through the little terrorist mind games with my Ex-Husband.  The games of going back and forth of us being back together of “working on the Marriage” then just “Fuck It Attitude Kicked into High Gear” on the idea. I got MAD like we all do, I assuming  it is  normal to do so. I wanted  it to be  a lot easier to let go and be free of him than to keep holding on to that ugliness that was being created by one man that just lied. Freedom is much better than him, so I picked freedom. Some people feel need that they must have this closer to moving on, but put that out of your mind because you may not get this ever. I never did.  I flat out read the emails of my husband wanting other men, and their cock, their bodies. This was not me, not my body, nor less a body part that I do not own nor even care to want to have. Unless it is a Purple People Eater Dildo. Ha, such a tease haha

Even reading those things this is what I was told, I am not Gay, I do not want to be a man meaning my ex-husband. I am just was curious because of the size of the penis and because mine is small.  He wanted to know because his was small? He wrote over 500 emails in one night to talk about the difference in cock and size and about wanting them. So he could talk about size, and that was his excuse, and that this was his first time.  Now, I was madly in love with him, and we were madly in love we each other and for a long time and I believed him. I know it does sound so stupid and silly, but I did believe AT first. After a year of it, then two years of it, then things did change. Oh for sure it changed in our relationship, I was changing because of it too. It was the beginning of it, and the opening of the Door that I never knew was even there. Until that day, I never knew that Craig’s List had a personal’s add and what their little abbreviations and all the meanings were.

So here is the Secret, its Time, and everything is just bullshit. Well, therapy will work if you believe in it. Being healthy and working out and finding something to do in your spare time is great but it is still Time. Time does heal what is killing you what is inside. I never thought at first I would get over my Ex- Husband, then I wanted him never to get over me because of all the hurt that he caused. So he knew what it felt like to be without, to hurt like Children and I. That will and is never going to be because Karma does not ever work like that. I do think that there is a place down the road where Time comes for everyone to heal, or even to Bite you in the ass. I am starting to believe  that Time  also can be Two outs with One Pitch too! 

Smooches and Much Love!

 

Sabrina Ford