Murder is Murder and Sandra Bland was KILLED

As time goes by the “Waller County Sheriff's Dept.” states that they have full faith that Sandra Bland committed “Suicide “, and I say whatever makes you sleep at night, Sir. There is no Doubt in the United States of America and “real court of law” can state that this was not a racial profile to say the least.  I do not know about you but have you been to jail lately? Sandra Bland was in an area where she could not just call her family when in need. It takes 18 hours by truck to go from Chicago to Texas. To buy a plane ticket that is not cheap at least not a next day flight. To bail this person out with cash and all this time you are outside in the real world. While she sits in jail alone, taken away from everything she knows. Treated like an animal that is placed to rot in a room. Going to the bathroom where people can watch you, having the chance of sewer coming back on you when someone uses the toilet.  That is the first 8 hours of being there and you try doing this for 72 hours when she did not have to be there in the first place!

If there are “people” meaning other inmates that have to be in that same jail system that another inmate just died in and same town to live in. Would you not be afraid as well if they too could be the next social profile themselves. Do you not think that this inmate has the right to say anything they want? Surely you do not believe that this inmate was not coached to say the right things? Do you not believe that the Prosecution is not preparing a case for the sheriff's office to defend? Do you not think that this educated woman Sandra Bland was not scared, mad and crying? That you mean to say that Miss. Bland should have been happy to be there, I believe not. This inmate that is talking about Miss. Bland so freely with the news, saying that Bland did this and acted like that.  Are you not just a little bit curious to wanting to know why she is being so freely to the news.

When was it okay to be allowed to have an inmate or someone on bail to speak with the news about anything going on a open case? Since when would an inmate’s testimony stand up in the court of law and be credible information. That this inmate that was speaking with the news, I am sure has an open case still on her and oh how easy is it to let go of a situation and make everything go away like unpaid tickets. I am very sure that the prosecution was very nice to the fellow inmate and a wonderful speaker to get you to kindly say what was needed. That as long as you were out in time for the TV crew to make your statement about the time that you stayed at this Jailhouse. Have you meet anyone that says that the guards were all nice? When in jail it is different from being in a Prison. Ask anyone that has been in Jail and Prison and they will quickly inform you the difference in the way these guards treat the inmates. All because of the difference in  locations of a cell house to keep a prisoner. You noticed I said that the difference was the location and not the crime? 

I have looked everywhere, and there is one big question no one has asked. Let me explain please when you are cuffed and booked the authority they take everything from you. Make you not wear a bra, Ha shoe laces what is that? Take away all your belonging with no questions asked, make you go without your medicine until they are rightfully ready for you to have them. Hell, I met someone that went to “Williamson County Jail” and let her bleed all over the floor because they would not give her a tampon/pad she was there for two days. Yes, this jail is in Texas as well.  So here is my question for some reason no one has asked why there were plastic bags in her cell in the first place. When you are in jail you have the bare essentials and that it is a protocol for every jail cell. So when is it normal to have a trash can with plastic bags?

When you are in jail, you normally do have roommates because you know we hear it all the time especially when it comes time to vote. That we hear that there is never any rooms in jail that sometimes that they will keep more than they should in a cell because there is this saying there is no more room in the inn.  That there are inmates sleeping on jail cell floors with mats because there are no beds. So why did they place her in a cell alone? What was the thinking on the Sheriff's Department on why  separating her from everyone else? How do we not know that the cell room was not previously set with bags in the first place? If so why is this a standard procedure when everyone knows you can take someone out with just a bag and no Oxygen. I mean was this the room that Miss. Bland started out with or was this her second cell because there was no reason for her to be alone in a cell.  Also, it explicitly states that Sandra Bland knew how often the guards came around checking on the room. She even knew that every thirty minutes that she would see a guard. Why did it take so long for someone to know that she was dying? That the Authorities found Miss Bland at 9 am in the morning expired, and prior at 6 am she did not want breakfast, and that that the guards checked an hour and a half later. Now we know that Sandra stated to her family that she always saw a guard every 30 min. So why nothing for an hour and a half and what happened during that time and a half? What did the officers of the law do to her to make her say I am fine an hour a half later and then an hour she was dead? What did they do to make her state of mind break? Did they leave the bag there for her because they knew they broke her mental states of mind? How can I say this, well I can say that to hurt someone they do not have to do things to leave marks? Yes, well neither does a rape leave marks nor does emotional abuse over and over for say 72 hours.  Sure in that amount of time frame it is feasible that someone could break someone’s mind that has never experienced an abusive terroristic treatment.

So can you imagine if this officer of the law acted like this on his state trooper patrol camera, what would an office of the law do when there are no cameras watching? They are already bad mouthing the dead like it was nothing. Of course now her past is being talked about, and mental status and, of course, the drug talk has begun as well.  Cannabis did not make Sandra Bland kill herself nor did it have her mind out on drug coma for 72 hours in her cell on pot. That intern made her kill herself because of being paranoid or a high on marijuana. That we are being advised that Sandra Bland was so sad with self-esteem issues that she had selfies, all a new job at the University Of A&M. No matter what you say that is an excellent school, and I am sure a great place to work. That they would not waste their time on some druggie, which lacked self-esteem that had any mental issues.  If what the sheriff’s dept. states that they knew that she had depression issues, and suicide issues then why leave her alone? Also why the mistakes on the booking paperwork and  mark it on one location that she was in the past with depression and was suicidal in the past but then they went on another page and states that Miss Bland does not have any mental /emotional issues. Look if it was any other person beside the law, and if we knew that someone was suicidal, and you did not report it, we would go to jail. A civilian would go to jail in a heartbeat if they knew that person killed themselves and that they would go to jail for not reporting the mental status. The laws apply when you are in jail when you are an inmate so why would the laws change if it were a government official.

There are no signs of Sandra not being in a healthy state of mind per Bland mother states. That she has no Idea on why her daughter would take herself out and that this was not the state of mind of her child when she saw her last. As of today, Sandra Bland mother had to lay her daughter to rest, and no mother should ever have to be the one to place their child in the ground.  A parent never wants to be the one, and that is not the way of order. Sandra Bland mother should have never had to say those words at her daughter’s eulogy, and she had to today. That Mrs. Bland should not have to go through another autopsy because she feels that the system killed her daughter and that the autopsy that came from Texas Authorities was rigged. This mother should not be crying because of a system that should be here to protect her and her family when it in the end took away her daughter away for the rest of her life. No mother should have these tears, and no amount of money will fix what she is feeling today. I can say this as a Person that was born and raised in Texas that this is a sad day that our systems failed this woman and her family. When normally as Texans we are pretty proud of who we are and how we stand united as a state. I can also say as a person that has lived in Chicago for the last seven years of my life that I am sorrowful to say we had to lay to rest one of our own.  That someone needs to be held responsible to the court of law for what happened to this family and money is not the only way. It can start with a big time checking on this department and not someone from the area. If guards are letting prisoners flee a prison then why would it be a shock to us to know that it is possible to have some shade going around in this jailhouse?  When authorities did do a check on Clinton Correctional that the FBI found a heroine ring and besides the two guards that helped the inmates flee.  That there were 12 employees that were relieved of their duty due to being involved in criminal acts. So why would adding murder to the list of things would be a shocker.  That our Law Authorities are doing things to inmates and let's add what authorities are making the inmates do out of desperation because they are scared of a guards status and the outcome when guards go bad. So yes, money is not even the point at this time but you can sure damn well do your job that we pay you to do and start checking our jail system. It looks like there are some overzealous law officials that think that they are above the law.  If this keeps up, there is going to be more than just enthusiastic civilians. It is time for some changes, and it needs to happen now and not next week. Let’s just hope someone will hear this family pleas and cries and do what is right for once in this case.

The Book, Well the Start

Chapter Bullshit

     

  Have you ever been in such a fucked up situation that you had no fucking clue what was up from down.  That you were given hope that all of this beautiful dreams of hope and love were just a lie. Talk about some bullshit that I married someone that forgot to tell me that he liked cock.  It is a damn shame when not only when you have to deal with competition with the same sex to take your partner but now they are pulling a number from the other side of the block.  What if I said that because I feel in love with a person that I almost lost everything that was dear to me. That because I believed so much in love and our marriage that I did everything possible to save it. Even though that I did everything possible to save the marriage that nothing was ever good enough to fix the issues that we had. I mean I can not grow a dick, so that was the first negative against me. 

Who am I as a person you ask at this time, well a green one that was very young and believed anything anyone would say. I came from a tiny town in Texas with say 3 thousand people give or take and I was the 1% that was Chinese.  I did do very well in school and was not anyone that people could say ouch she is weird and well she does do weird shit. Nope I was a pretty good student, I had my own martial arts school at the age of 11. I was well traveled around the United States and other Countries at a very young age. I was not anyone that people would tease for making poor choices. Not once can I say that I have disappointed my family by my actions and if I did it would now be news to me as well as you. Now if I would have stayed and not be writing this book well, then I am sure there would be a ton of family and friends that disappoint would not even be the words used to me. As I write this book, this is for everyone that has gone through the kind of hurt that I am writing about. That no matter how scared you can be because of the past, that to growing is acknowledging it and to build with the knowledge that was given. Not to ever do this shit again and pray that you will not be the one that goes back. I hope that by me writing this book it will stop you from going back to that toxic relationship. That it might just save your life after you read what I have to say. So you can say that God forbid I do not want to be like her or go through what my family went through or what if you did not become that one girl that is on CNN The Hunt. Some of the shit that I am about to write about is very raw and exposed and the purpose of this is to learn from what I went through. Geez, if out of all of this that I endured that you may listen to these words and you hear your wake up call and if so then I did what I need to do. So if you think this is a natural thing letting you know my mistakes. Then wrong this will be very hard for me. I am going to write about all the dirty blackness that was around my spiritual aura. That my marriage was so toxic, it did almost take my life. That I almost let go and just gave up all hope. That it almost had me convinced that my children would have been better off without me. 

Big DICK VS Little DICK Now Jane will Respond

Today it is about what you can get and how much of it will be and how big it is. Everything more prominent in size is better than the other. That the concept is that this is what everyone wants too. That if you get more of whatever it is that it is always better. I am just not to sure on that to be honest when it comes to Big Dick VS Little Dick. When married, my ex-husband had an Enormous ……………………………… Napoleon issues about it (Ha! You thought something else). That it became very overwhelming that it was not what he thought, and it should look different. That was part of why he used the excuse to send out many emails to men on Craig's List to compare and speak with other men that maybe had the same issue. Well, that is what was his reasoning to the method of his madness but, of course, the emails were not quite like he said. More about being in the closet then anything but that is another matter that is much deeper. I say this is because there are tons of men that feel not to par with their unit. That it is not up to par and that it will not satisfy their partner.

It made me think about it and well that seems pretty wild to send out emails to talk Sizes. That it made me think what else that was crazy that men did to fix the issue of feeling inadequate in the man department.  It was wild what I was reading what they went through to change their unit to be bigger, longer and we are not talking here we come to Cali and find me a surgeon. Oh no we are not just talking about a Lengthening Surgery. Nope not all, there is a procedure where you donate human skin and use it to make the shaft wider. They call this a Zombie Penis; I cannot image saying yes I have been doing my man dirty using the Zombie Penis. I can see the commercials now… walking dead penis is coming this fall. Take one and your lover will never know the difference and then see it and it looks like you have a melted penis with a turkey gobble neck around the shaft because the duct tape was not holding anymore.  Yup makes me want just to jump on that! There are injections to the head and them filled up or how about Bigger Balls they can change that too.  Now on the bigger balls I can see that for the cancer issues when there is Testicular Cancer, so that makes sense to me. Now it is a no go, and I am sure at this point “it” wants to hide when I say filler up! Can we all say OUCH together now OUCH!

Okay how about foreskin restoration and it is what it sounds like, pull a tug tug! They say that by not having the foreskin that it cause the penis to have some major miss outs on sexual pleasure. Also, there has been a movement of believers that think it is barbaric and wrong to do so to children because of religion. That the movement feels that they can even prove that there is nothing showing any facts that by having a foreskin that it cause the male to be dirty. The cause of lack of hygiene for say is because the head can not breath, and it just brews under the skin.  Now this group puts it to you this way, our country does not allow anyone, religion, or a government is allowed to sew up a ladies pickacu, or a child's. Now in other countries they do and it is terrible, only allow enough room to allow the girl to pee. Now a baby boy goes through a cutting sometimes in a hospital setting or a religious setting. They feel that it does not fair to put this on Children who have no choice in the matter, that they have no voice. That since when did America allow children to have things removed because of religion or because a medical book said so because of keep it clean when all you do is pull and clean? When men wish that they could have the full sensation of their penis and feel much cheated in their sexual needs because of it.

So now what if you do not do anything and just say live with it use whatever you believe in what they gave you and just go with it. Look I had to, I would hate to piss someone off about religion. Goodness no, so you keep it and do nothing with it and just be. Well, I am going to tell you a few things that may help in the mental department in regards to Units. I think you boys are giving the penis way too much credit and way to much credit when it comes to the size so much. Not everyone wants a Porno penis and that most Vijaya's are maybe five inches deep So give or take the majority of men are not much more. So let's not give anyone any credit, if you are asking me that is giving way to much credit to the Big Dick.  Sometimes big ones hurt women that they are being penetrated too deep. Women complain that they feel Dick in their throat, and no BJ that night. You also heard that saying that we do not care about what the shell is and about what is inside. Well, that also goes for if you look proportionate and that means up, down all around. The other thing is that sometimes it takes more than a cock to make a woman climax. So bring out the toys and let your teeth rattle and go on with your bad self. Sometimes having a big one you can not do too many things with your partner. Now there are sex positions that do make the penis feel larger and deeper but there is nothing that can help when it is too big. The other thing is ladies is that by saying you only want BIG DICKS… well, men are just not naturally all built like the Godzilla of Penises. The average cock is 5 to 6 inches give or take and that about 37 % guesstimated states that they are worried about the size. That they are concerned that their partner will not want them sexually. Most of the time it is heterosexual men that are having these feeling and concerns.

Now using the word small penis is not it or nice to be honest. The diagnosis that is having an illness of small penis syndrome is called Micropenis. Now we call it this, think of it a slang word at this time just to have a  term for it.  They do not have a name for it. It is more of a mental anxiety about their theories of the size of the penis. Much more on the body dysmorphic disorder, or maybe a larger psychosis.  I mean they are going to have to call it something different then micro because there is nothing wrong with the penis. So at this time can we fix it with a surgery, I guess but do you? I would think that maybe at this time it is something just a little bit deeper within than the size or the width of the penis. That it all depends on you and the confidence in your sexuality that you feel for yourself. So if anything there is to improve on I would start with your head and in your heart. Just remember that your partners will love part of you ever no matter what you look like or the size of parts that you have. It is how you use it, and how you come across with your animal sexuality lust that is internal . IF you do not have it, then that is where I would start there as well.

Sabrina Ford

It is Time to Cleanse and Detox the Shade

Is there a bell ringing a far? No, that is the church bells that are ringing let it be, oh let it be! I am free and baby it feels so good to be open and free. The big bell that one too, and that is what she said! (Drum Sound and I will be back at 9 pm)

It is time to clean out the house, get rid of the past and put in the new. Think about what can be and not what was and for once do something different than the last time and learn from what you just went through, so you do not do this again. Now that is what you call a Detox and a blessing all in one, and if you are lucky you found out early and not later. First steps are mentally become healthier work on you first before anything. Nothing else matters because you do not want to be the girl or the guy of one hit wonder date or a serial dater. That is even better you become one of those and just never satisfied, so first major step DO NOT Date. No focus on you and remove you of the negativity of the past. Alternatively, you will not be able to move on, and then you will just be repeating the process all again. So take a break and that is perfectly okay and think on what you should do. Now depending on the years of the relationship I would do no less than 30 days boys and ladies should not do more than 90 days of detox. Even if you were married for over a few years because you may like being free, and Detox is nice. Also beautiful can turn into seven years later and well we all have seen that mom and dad that well never moved on and just stayed in that spot. So no more than 90 days no matter what!

Plus think about it once you start to get the idea of being you in your skin again it feels great. You are becoming happy and want share it with everyone. Why not show at this time the potential mate this side instead of darkness that was around you back then. Sad to say this but no one wants to be with someone that is not happy and living in the past. So the best time is when you have fully let go, got the idea of being single and enjoying being just you. That is is when it is safe for you to date, and you have started and passed a major part of the shady detox phase. I can not think of a time when I did not see someone not fall in love with someone because they were just a happy person.  I have seen from all shades of colors fall in love with one another because they made the other person happy, smile, made their day for a moment. Sometimes you may not think about it but that moment may mean everything to them. It may even be an everlasting impression on their soul, and you may never know it. That is okay because the point was not for you to know it was from them to feel the happiness that you felt right. Everyone love to hang with someone happy, and when you are happy you are confident, sexy, you feel like you can do anything to improve.

So what do you do to Detox the past,  well first stop and don’t listen to everyone. There will be of course tons of people that want and would like to be a part of the new you. That is a no Houston, Do not pass and you will not get boardwalk or the 200. Remember this is about you and your detox and what you want. What you are missing and what you need so find out what you like to do. What you forgot that you liked to do. Think about some of the things that make you happy and you alone. I mean the list can be anything you just have to play around with it. Fall in love with reading again, catch up on some movies that you have not ever seen.  Go donate your time to a shelter, make a garden, go back to school. Something, anything is better than nothing and sitting in just negativity that once was.  

When I left my ex and mean left him that is what I had to do, I worked on me and thought about what I was missing and looking for again. When you are knocked down, you begin to know real quick what you do not want. So it becomes easy to think about what and how you can do it and what you will do and how it will be once it is done. I mean it is a process and again no it does not happen overnight but you do grow and become stronger like the roots of a tree. Those sources become the very structure that make you become the person who will be in the present. So why break that structure with non-sense and waste your foundation with cracks. When you know damn well that is what will happen because everyone know what occurs in history, it repeats its self. Then you will want to kick your ass once again. Yes, I know this feeling as well, and the pattern too and everyone shake their head and say no we do not wish to go back there again. Right, Right, and now we know and we move one. When you have stopped the pattern, and you said No.

There you Go the other part of detox when you have said No. Now are you not proud of yourself and did what you said you wanted to be to let go and be free. See the thing is that whomever the detoxing you are doing this from you just completed the process of letting go. Like I said it is a process, and it may take the time or it may happen overnight. Just depends on when you ALLOW your brain to let go. That is all on you, and once that is done and realize that in your big beautiful brain of yours. When you let go mentally of the problem, then you did it and were proud that you made it through the dark and back into the light. Now that your back is it not so much better being where you can fully see the picture and not be clouded by the negativity. So remember Detox is healthy, and it is okay to take time for you. That you are allowed to feel these feeling and most of the time that tummy tingly feeling you felt you were right on cue. Always trust what you feel and remember that there is more to life than being clouded be the past. Enjoy the life that you have and experience it just in another view instead. That way you will not only feel better but everyone one else around will see, and you never know who will be looking. He or she might be the new love of your life and why not show them your good side instead.

Sabrina Ford