Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Book, Well the Start

Chapter Bullshit

     
  Have you ever been in such a fucked up situation that you had no fucking clue what was up from down.  That you were given hope that all of this beautiful dreams of hope and love were just a lie. Talk about some bullshit that I married someone that forgot to tell me that he liked cock.  It is a damn shame when not only when you have to deal with competition with the same sex to take your partner but now they are pulling a number from the other side of the block.  What if I said that because I feel in love with a person that I almost lost everything that was dear to me. That because I believed so much in love and our marriage that I did everything possible to save it. Even though that I did everything possible to save the marriage that nothing was ever good enough to fix the issues that we had. I mean I can not grow a dick, so that was the first negative against me. 

Who am I as a person you ask at this time, well a green one that was very young and believed anything anyone would say. I came from a tiny town in Texas with say 3 thousand people give or take and I was the 1% that was Chinese.  I did do very well in school and was not anyone that people could say ouch she is weird and well she does do weird shit. Nope I was a pretty good student, I had my own martial arts school at the age of 11. I was well traveled around the United States and other Countries at a very young age. I was not anyone that people would tease for making poor choices. Not once can I say that I have disappointed my family by my actions and if I did it would now be news to me as well as you. Now if I would have stayed and not be writing this book well, then I am sure there would be a ton of family and friends that disappoint would not even be the words used to me. As I write this book, this is for everyone that has gone through the kind of hurt that I am writing about. That no matter how scared you can be because of the past, that to growing is acknowledging it and to build with the knowledge that was given. Not to ever do this shit again and pray that you will not be the one that goes back. I hope that by me writing this book it will stop you from going back to that toxic relationship. That it might just save your life after you read what I have to say. So you can say that God forbid I do not want to be like her or go through what my family went through or what if you did not become that one girl that is on CNN The Hunt. Some of the shit that I am about to write about is very raw and exposed and the purpose of this is to learn from what I went through. Geez, if out of all of this that I endured that you may listen to these words and you hear your wake up call and if so then I did what I need to do. So if you think this is a natural thing letting you know my mistakes. Then wrong this will be very hard for me. I am going to write about all the dirty blackness that was around my spiritual aura. That my marriage was so toxic, it did almost take my life. That I almost let go and just gave up all hope. That it almost had me convinced that my children would have been better off without me. 



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