Do I feel Older?

1996 Article Written about me!

As I stare at the mirror, I begin to think Do I feel Older? I mean I look the same. I even have proof and hope that my DNA is high enough to pass this lovely gene on to my daughter and son. That they will always look young because I have been lucky so far if I must say so myself.

At least this year I did not have to call my mother to see how old I was. I go through this I forget me bullshit and that would include in my age not being remembered. That is a damn shame I forget all the time! To be honest, this year I started to remind myself early so I would not forget. However, I was successful in not forgetting my damn day and how hold I was going to be.

Being that today is my birthday I do not feel that age is the issue with birthdays and that the issue is slanting more towards between the lines on how people stun me. That I am very sure that I am certain it is the same for others as well. That the people that I thought I knew was not what I thought, and that is in a positive light or negative.  That what seems to the naked eye is nothing like what is behind closed doors.

It is funny to see how people use each other now that I am older too. I see how life looks so different from being younger. I have been gone from my hometown for almost ten years and man how things have changed. Not just the town but the people as well. Time does that and makes you confused about what was and what is.


Now being older my heroes are not so much a hero anymore. The ones that I never gave a chance became to be something so much more in my life. Developing into this more seasoned age I see now that my contemplations are not the same as they were ten years prior or even approaches what I recall it to be. That a town that I once fit in now seems all so different now and makes me think that did I change?

Then the next questions should be, did the town change and the people that have been here since the day of dawn? I believe that we both have changed, and some of us grew and bloomed into something more. While others bloomed and well fizzled out as if they were the light of a flame. It is sad to see what you thought that once was.  That when you were a  little one the thought was this and then now you are older it is nothing that you remembered and talked about being a disappointed.

I mean it is not my fault or anyone else on how things look now as we become older and compare to the past. That it is okay to remember the past and that you have these changing feelings. That by remembering the past that you are giving respect to once was and that it does go along with the territory of remembering that once was.  That by becoming older you see that it is normals as well to have all the changes to become to be. That to take the good with the bad and only remember what is good and leave the negative.



I feel that now being 34 or whatever age I will be god willing. That I will need to understand that there will be growth, and then there will be those that stay in the same memory. That by growing into your aging body that it is okay to change into what you want to be. The reason I say this is because people will come and go from your life, but only you have this body. Only you will be able to enjoy what life has to offer. Why waste it by hoping that someone will change because if he or she can not accept that you have changed.  Then for sure they are not going to put the effort in making the change for the difference. So focus on the positive and what will be and not what is not.

Sabrina Ford and Oh Happy Birthday To ME!!!