Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Can you conceive being dragged across the floor because you looked at someone the wrong way or begin to fathom being punched in the face and belittled because of nothing? Do you understand what it feels like to be beaten because of someone else’s issues? Well, it happens every day and maybe even to someone you know.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, every 9 seconds a woman is beaten or assaulted in the United States; one in 3 women is being harmed by someone they love.

Those statistics don’t include the aftermath that occurs when a victim finally leaves the relationship. She is left not only picking up the pieces, but those around her are as well. If you think that it is just the victim that has to deal with the fallout then you are mistaken. One in 15 children is a witness to loved ones being assaulted.

So besides children having to see and deal with the matters at hand, what about going back to work? Can you guess what it is like to walk in and your “work family” seeing you this way? Sometimes your employer understands you more than your own family and the embarrassment that comes with the process of domestic violence does not help the situation to say the least.

The victims of abuse are not only embarrassed but lose an aggregate of 8.0 million days of paid work every year. The expense of being affected by domestic violence surpasses $8.3 billion. Between 21-60% of victims lose their occupations as a consequence of reasons stemming from domestic violence. Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were killed in their work environment by their abuser.  78% of the victims killed in the working environment were women and the rest were men.

The embarrassment of going to the doctor to deal with the issues that need to be dealt with is not an easy task. Those that are mistreated by their own lovers are all the more susceptible of contracting HIV or other STI’s as a result of forced intercourse.

Physical, mental, sexual and regenerative prosperity effects have been associated with rape, including child/teen pregnancy, unintended pregnancy, unsuccessful work, stillbirth, intrauterine channel, restorative insufficiency, stomach torments and other gastrointestinal issues. There have been signs of neurological issues, relentless torment, debilitation, apprehension and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Likewise, there are noncommunicable diseases, for instance, hypertension and cardiovascular infections. Domestic violence can lead to addictions like drinking, smoking tobacco, or even better go to drugs.

Standing firm is an invitation to take action intended to convey consideration regarding the subject of aggressive behavior at home for Domestic Violence Awareness. By standing firm for domestic violence awareness, we remind the government and the public that there are still countless individuals – victims and survivors, their kids and families, their loved ones, their friends – affected by aggressive behavior at home. We, every one of us, ought to not stop until society has zero resistance for domestic violence and until all victims and survivors can be heard. And to start off the voices, I am a survivor of domestic violence and there is a way out. I promise!

http://www.rushhourdaily.com/domestic-violence-awareness-month/16022

One Love Is Hard To Find Or A Free Title?

• What a week people, talk about WOWZA! 

  
  

  I find that people talk a lot and never follow through or the story is always changing. I tend to not be like that and I tend to be real honest.  I feel that honesty is the key and to sustaining a clean future in life.  Why waste it on bullshit experience? When deep down you know that it is just crap to waste your time. 

  
  

  Now sometimes my honesty can be harsh and loud. When I say what I am feeling there is a reason behind my words. Knowing that I am not saying it to hear myself talk really, I even hate reading out my work out loud.  It is entailed for you my readers and for the ones that gave me the thought of why I write about these topics.
• As I get older I am starting to listen to that feeling that is inside of me.  You know that deep down belief that tells you to do it or NOT to do it. I wish more people would practice that instead of talking out loud.  It just makes you seem like a Jackass.  
• So on that note, I am letting you my readers know that I was so excited to work with the "Famous Chef D". That is funny because isn't always start off like this, nice and great and then BAM out of left field BULLSHIT comes my way. 
• Now for someone who talks about life and being real was not very honest as I would have thought of him to be. Now the reason I say that it is because he tried to pull one on me. Now I have to say how dare he not think that I would not respond with a blog? I guess he really has not read my work.  
• Now this man came to me to write his story of his life and talked about another book idea. Now can I be a bitch and tell everyone what the story idea is about. Well, yeah, because he wants to copy the idea of Chef Jeff Henderson! The only reason I know this is because he spoke about it and he even knew that Will Smith purchased the rights of Chef Jeff's book. A business conversation with THE FOOD NETWORK’S CHEF JEFF HENDERSON
• I mean, how did I know about it because of him and let me say this I can back up every word in regards to this because I keep all records of everything from emails, text messages, and all my calls are recorded. The reason I do this if I do an interview, then I can go back and replay what was said. He knew this, and this was advised at first before anything stated. He gave approval by continuing to talk about his idea. 
• He wanted to write a fiction bio and combine the story idea of Chef Jeff's story with his plot of life. Seems like a copy cat if he cannot come up with something better than someone's real life story. Now that was clue one and the second clue is even better than the first. 
• Now when he came to me he had a set price in his head. I even asked him because I said you know what you can afford than I. He said 2500 off the spot and this was to write a book, help with the query letters and that would include my readers and social networking plugs on my end on my sites. I say that is a lot when I have almost 14k readers now. 
• Call me crazy, but that is a lot on my end to offer a copy cat man. Now I invited him out to my house and to do a meet and greet. Talked about what his ideas were and what he wanted in the books. Talking about money and now remember he offered 2500 and then counter himself with 25% royalty fees included. Now did I counter the percentages well of course, like any Chinese, Jewish business woman would do. I counter with 5% and he agreed. No issues about it and both said great. 
• We went over timelines and even have a Title that I created. One Love is Hard To Find. Now here is the second issue. Do you go back to the person that you want to hire and say, well I have been thinking and what if the book does not get picked up and I paid you for everything. What if you only write a few chapters and then send out Query letters. Because I do not think that you are worth the price. 
• Now I gave him prices on what I am being paid by another platform where I will be paid by word and 35% of advertising royalty fees. I have also been offered a job with Facebook as a social network writer. Now that is not going to be chump change either. Now by looking at his writing and this is being copied and pasted and there are edits that will need to be done for sure! 
  
• Now I am going by word for word, " I am sorry, you are not worth 2500 for query letters and a few chapters, 30 percent of profits and royalties for half the work. I will do it then pay a lot less to edit." "$2500 for query letters and a couple of chapters. Our agreement was $2500 for one book And 30 percent Most people do not even get money if they are given a percentage I already gave you the story and help writing it" " For query letters and a couple of chapters. The money you getting paid, you creating the story. I created the entire story, already came up witg the name, helping you write it. Actually probably do most of the writing and you want $2500 for a query letter and a couple of chapters? And 30 percent of the book?" " I think I can write my own query letter and a couple of chapters then pay 500-1000 just to edit" " Sorry, too much! No offense, not taking away from your writing skills, but I was offered 3725 from a published book author and he was doing all the work I already have, I went to several ghostwriters before you" "Not saying you are not, but you have not published one book? Look at it from my side? If they were doing half the work, do you think they would pay you that? Better yet give you 30 percent of all profits and royalties? I am gambling on you who has never published a book, pay you $2500 for some query letters and a few chapters? Then not even knowing if the publishers picks it up? It will probably take a month or even less to write the query letters and chapters. Then we stop until a publisher picks it up. If they do, then start writing again and you get the rest." 'Meaning $800 for query letter and a few chapters of one book.You actually getting the best of it. You came it someone who basically created the entire story and helping you do the work. You have not looked at that yet Just like you say about your time, my time helping on the book is also valuable " "I am sorry, you are not worth 2500 for query letters and a few chapters, 30 percent of profits and royalties for half the work. I will do it then pay a lot less to edit. Thanks T" " Publish some books, then you can put any price you can and build credibility. Kinda like me, I had to charge low rates first ti build up my clientele, now I can charge whatever because I also have the references to back it up. You taking it personal and it's just business. You ego cannot let you see it from my side of a business standpoint"
• Who goes back after someone has set a price, or goes back on their own set price? Someone that does not know what business is. Someone that is a weak link and someone who thinks because he has a dick he can treat a woman like this. I think not and let me say one thing I have had my own business when I was 11 years of age and had it for 8 years and kept working ever since.
  
• So you can kiss my yellow ass CHEF D and let me slap you with my imaginary penis and here is why I can say this.
• I am worth a lot because of how I am as a person, and more than 2500 that is for sure. My work does speak for itself because I have the fans to back up what I do. They will tell you that is for sure. I am sure you can cook and to be honest, no one in my family liked what you made. It has no spice and it was runny Hints why the others wanted things to wrap your food that you made. Like a tortilla that was needed to hold what given to us for dinner and he made an enchilada dinner.
  
• The other thing that needs to be pointed out is that for someone that had to go to chef school with a bunch of whities that have black issues you seems to have some white issues yourself. Now how would others feel about eating your food when they are not the correct skin color? 
• Why spend money on you when you feel this way. Now do not question what I have to say, sir, because I will hit play!
• Please when you think that by saying what you said to me that you can tarnish what I have worked up to because of what? Help me understand why you think you can say this to someone? I mean really you feel that you that special and above others that they should bow down to you as a Million dollar deal?
  
• If that was the case, then if worth a million dollars would you make splash about 2500? Seems like chump change if you're worth is that. But that is the case you are not and never be anything more than a person who fakes his way to the top. Someone that lies about getting into school so he can be something else next to these white folks.
• Chef D it would have been a good story if you were not stealing it from someone else. The reason you have heart problems is because you put yourself in this lie. Plus smoking and being overweight is the other issue too. What kills me is that you talk about your heart, but chain smoke and eat very unhealthy. Does not set a good standard when being a "Public Figure".
• Now here is the lesson to be learned kiddo's. DO not let anyone step in your way and tell you what your worth is. There is no set price on someones worth. Since when do we as humans walk around with a $ tag over our heads. Like we are a video game and this is not real life.
  
• We have all a worth in life and everyone is meant to do something great. Everyone has the right to believe in their work. Everyone has the right to feel that their value is higher than some dollar amount. That your word and work is what is the value and if you cannot back it up, then that is on the person nothing more. But never beat down a person because you feel that you better than them or because it is a Damn skin tone thing. We as humans are not meant to be here to judge by others, we were meant to do other things in our lives. To be the best we can be in this one life that we have.
• So do not listen to others when someone says what your "value " is. Do your thing and do it proudly but never bow down to someone that has no brains or a value on what business is.
• As for Chef D he will not make it very long in this area because other will see him for what he is. Someone that has to make it a color issue and baby you are in the wrong city for this shit. Austin, TEXAS is a loving city, but if you're not a part of the love you will be dismissed. 
  
• IF you want to write a book why don't you do some more living and find that this is not a skin issue baby it is a you issue. When others do not want to eat your foods or want to work with you because you take back what you say. You're a dreamer that does not follow through. The difference to you and me is that my words are truth and I can back up what I say? All you have is dreams of others, and lies about what you created.
• If you are wanting to know my response to what I said to Chef D then here you go.

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• "Look Derrick I am not worried about me. I know what I am worth and I do not need to change my price. That is what I am being paid now. Contracts have been signed. I know there will be others that will want my work and pay me for what I do best. I am a published Author now. I have peps coming to me besides you. I just set them aside when you called Not a problem here. I am sure you can do what you need. Really but now I need to do the work that needs to be done. This conversation is just going round and run down by continuing to talk about it. I really do wish you a good weekend."
  
• Keeping it real!
• Sabrina Ford

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• P.S The title is mine and cannot be used unless you want this blog attached to it!

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Why Lost Love is the Best Love

Can you still be in love with someone even if time has been a factor? Hell, not even just time. What about other relationships in between that time? Can a lost love be the key to why you have failed in relationships? Is it why you have not been able to move on in your heart?

Lost love reunions are a special kind of love. Since there was a feeling years former — generally in the youthful, formative years and persevering over the years — this wistfulness is not new. The couple regularly fights to fathom what they are encountering: it's such a strong, exceptional bond that they feel "crazy." And their loved ones let them know that they must be.

The fact is they are not crazy people one bit because they do know each other. Who says that you do not know this person? Because you have not seen them in years?

Science has proven that as we become older we do not change in who we are after a certain point. These lost loves know each other amazingly well. Characters don't change much over time and if they do, they only improve for the better. If they were together for 1-3 years as is frequently the case, and only an outside party split up the relationship (moved away, young in age, outsiders did not approve, etc.), they have shared formative years together and have a high chance of becoming a couple again.

There is a euphoria, a high that cannot be brought down. Others can say it's so new and it always starts off like this. The fact is you have done this already with this person so it is not new. It's just that the two of you know each other and just want to forget the world and become one.

If you do not think that it is romantic, then you're the one who is crazy. Some look for lost loves for five or ten years and will keep the search going just to know that the other person is okay. Just to know, "What if?" Is it feasible to be in this person's presence once again?

Also, these feelings for a lost love are not just a fling or a sexual experience. There is depth here. If you want to start a quick argument, say that to their face and they will not only defend their reasoning, they will defend their loved one's character.

This is because, lost lovers have said, their partner is the most "pleasing" and the most "trusting" person in their lives. This is an aftereffect of their past histories and a result of the force of being back together after such a substantial number of years apart.

No, it's not a fantasy. These are two people who have loved each other years for years and missed an opportunity to be as one; now they have been driven to right that mistake.

These stories are what make love so fascinating. No matter the number of lost loves you have had, you still have the chance to be in love again. Love is not prejudiced. Love will just happen when the time is right, even if it has to travel back to the past. Now that is an incredible love story to say the least.

October is Domestic Violence Month

October is Domestic Violence Month and it is time that I do talk about this. I want to be very clear for anyone that does know me that I will write about things that may hurt your heart. The words that I am going to write is meant for those who need to hear these words.

Now before I start I want you to understand as well, I am not sad nor regret anything in my life. The things that are to come, the past or anything that I was a part of does not mean I would change anything. These words are meant for people that need to hear that there are other options. That you are meant to have a different life.

So on that note, what I thought was love was really hidden by a lot of uncovered truths. Sadly, I was in love with the wrong man for many years. I was married for almost Seven Years to man that hid behind drugs, sex, and emotional/ physical abuse.

Now on the outside, we seemed like the perfect couple, but that was the shell. The center of our relationship still makes me sick to even think about it. Because of the abuse that I went through on my own free will, it took some time to get out.

I forever had an excuse for him.  That I have been always on the quick of the haul to cover his lies. The sick part is that my love was used for his own doing and not for the substantial deal of being in love in a relationship.

I was married to man that hides behind his sexuality. My ex was ashamed of who he is and because of that he took it out on others. The reason my ex husband was and will always be a druggie is because he will not get the help that he needs.

My ex husband used me as a cover to be his wife. So he in return could be a very bisexual man that did like women. Only for one reason and that was for a cover to get by in life that he created. I was only a cover and never knew it for almost 5 years.

Now am I anti gay or bisexual oh gosh no. This does not mean that I wanted to be married to someone that had affairs behind my back though. That he felt it did not matter because the affairs were with a dude so it did not count in his eyes.

Now me on the other hand not only did I look at every man but women too? Who was he fucking tonight and was it a male or female and would there be drugs? Of course there was and that is why I was never asked to go. Even had the nerve of introducing me to one of the men that was with him in a sexual atmosphere.

With  me not wanting to play along and go with the plan about the bisexuality then that is when the cards were flipped on me. One day after working all my ex was to pick me up after my shift. Now all day we talked and everything was fine, but when he picked me up you could tell he was high.

In my opinion at that moment is when he really went manic and completely lost his marbles. He was irate, wanting to fight with others on the road as we drove back home. Just very erratic because of the chemicals in his system, it had to be. What was his drug of choice? It was crack cocaine. I have seen this man do 15 thousand  in one year and that was just on crack alone.

By the time we got to the house we started to fight out of the blue. Even to this day I have no idea what started the issue. Oh, I do remember now it was because he was acting like a crazy man. It was so left field that I was truly shocked at what was going on. I was crying, pleading with him on what was the deal.

Now it started with him pushing me down. I fell down so hard I looked like one of those skipping rocks on the lake. Now me being me, I got back up to my feet and stood up. NOT just stand up I stood up and was not going to back down. My ex was trained in the martial arts and so was I. So I knew that this was never going to stop even if I did back down. He wanted to fight me and that was the day I lost my first real fight EVER. I have never lost and now I knew.

I was punched, choked, kicked, kneed. You know when the MMA fighter is ground fighting and uses elbows and not just make contact but drag the elbow across the face. Because I was being held down and I can officially say I know how that fucking feels. Let me say that not only sucks, but fucking hurts like a mother. I was choked out to where I blacked out but woke up to still being choked.

I had to fight for five hours straight. Once he finally left I was for the first time not sure how to deal with what happened to me. By morning time I had to be at work again and that was even the worst part. I could not drive because I was hurt so bad. So my coworker was kind enough to pick me up. I was ashamed, embarrassed that I had to look like this.

I had to go to work with broken ribs, both eyes black. Missing skin from my cheek bones and my pride missing from me completely. I felt like everything died within me, that I lost my warrior within. We could never get better in the relationship because I would not forgive him. Every time I looked at him I either saw him with other men in my eyes. Or I saw him as a woman beater that he was.

I am going to tell you that once something like that starts it will not stop until there is help  or until it kills you. That once you leave and get away from this person you will begin to start to feel better I promise. I know that leaving is scary and not easy to say the least. I had lost my home, I had to obtain restraining orders, I even traveled states alone with my children and what I could carry on the train ride back home.

I know that now being married to a rich millionaire that had the perfect record on paper seemed to be a perfect person. Oh, how wrong I was about this man! How I wasted so much time trying to make things right. When it was not even my problem or issue. The issue was him and because he was not willing to be whom he needs to be. So instead he will make everyone around him miserable. Due to him being so insecure in himself and that is part of why he acts out.

I mean can you imagine that you want to be with a person, but you have to have sex with other side because that is what your family wants. Or that because you were born in a different era that is looked down upon in their mind. Or because they did not want to mess up their cash cow inheritance because money is more important to life in their eyes. There are so many things, but it's not worth even trying to guess because in the end they are all nuts and out of their minds.

People that abuse are on another level than what is considered normal. I feel that if we that have been abused do not speak about what we have learned than One we will not continue to remember the patterns that started this mess. The second is if we do not speak about it than the others will not learn about the patterns to watch for.

Now this is across the board, Men and Women are being abused. Yes woman have the same problems as well with abusing. Abuse in not picky on the victim and does not care about your skin, your education, where you grew up or your sex. Abuse is, no matter how you look at it is hurtful, emotional and destructive.

I can say that I feel that I have always had a voice and have been able to express my words. After going through what I went through it did help me see what my calling was to be. It took some time, but it is very clear on what my calling is now. I am going to be honest and tell you what you need to hear. Not what you want to hear.

I am being honest about my life so you can see that people do make it on the other side of the tunnel. That there really is a light and it is not just bullshit. I am being raw like this so this shit is exposed and so that others that want to abuse will be stopped. Your time is not safe here, I will write about you and expose you for you are. I will vow to keep my words as a sword towards you and I will do just as raw as you made others feel.

So, throughout the month of October I am going to write about the steps that you can take to get out. I am going to write about what exposer you can do to fight back and in a legal way! I am going to be very real and expose these abusive people for what they are. I am going to give you the power to fight back and I truly hope that my words lift you to do what is needed to become safe. Throughout these times will be the hardest but in the end it will be so freeing to feel safe again. Please think about it and if you need help then lets get the help that is needed. Please Be Safe!


Sabrina Ford