Time to come out and see what happens...

Well, let’s see I have been out of this thing called dating for some time now.  Being single again does have some good points but I do miss having that connection with someone. So I went ahead and made a profile online. After so many brainwashing commercial’s you just end up doing so, to make it stop, in your brain, as you tell yourself, and you would hope. Yes, I have gone on a few date and most have been well what started the writing. I am sorry boy’s you say girls are crazy. I think men are just as stupid as women are. I went out with a guy for three weeks who thought his ex-best friend (male best friend) was stalking him. He just thought that it was not the right time to date anyone at this stage in his life. Of course, there was the one that I could not understand. Him yelling and biting his finger when he spoke. I know I have been living up north for some time now. I do know these Texas boys are nothing like this, and these are just fill in’s.

So I have been speaking with a gentleman and let’s say I will call him Murr. The name comes from Impractical Jokers on True TV. Well, he does risible him just a touch, Okay maybe just more than a touch.  We do speak quite a bit, and I mean texting almost every day and I say every day. We have been enjoying each other for sure and each other’s words. He is extremely smart; his sexuality does do me dirty with his words in a brainy way. That has never been the case with me not like this, as you can see I do like to write and all about words that include sex! The cherry on top, he is sexually confident big time and is nothing like I would normally date since my last relationship. This was not was just a fling it was, I mean my husband for almost seven years.  I guess the major difference was I was missing a Penis. Never had one …hate to admit it but my testosterone has all pretend this entire time. He was into men and forgot to tell me five years into the marriage. Nothing like finding out at 6 am in the morning that your husband likes Cock. So I am assuming that part of what is catching my eye- he likes me a woman! On the right road so far!  Also, because he so different on the physical side that I normally like that makes even more a wow factor. He is very much a person that I have been wanting and looking for that is for sure for a possible mate.  He has this swagger persona that is just very cool; just too many parts that I like about him just cannot pick.  

It does take a LOT to have me open up, LIKE the wall of China. However, before everyone else read the blog he did.  The only other person that would do that was my ex-husband he would read anything that I would write. Now, Murr he did read the first blog post first. So does he know what my new career change is? Yes, he does, and he know I am still on Match? Yes, he knows I do this for writing and to get the minds of men. To hear their thoughts and go to the Stir mixers to observe and watch couples meet. Plus we never spoke about if we are going to seeing others or you know “The Talk”.

I just knew that he was not on it anymore for some time, and we were talking through cell and texting. Well, tonight I saw him online and about died and did not like it at all. I felt all kinds of butthurt and had no reason to. We never spoke about it, we never had the talk, and we only went on two dates. So when do you ask those questions? When is it a good time to do that and ask what you want in a relationship without looking like their desperate, dumb girl? I know it was not his fault, he knows I am on Match… you crazy fool of a woman. I just never thought or dawned on me that there could be feelings for him and that I did not like the thought of SHARING him. Who would have thought? He did call right away to discuss because I did ask him how he liked seeing me online, he said he knew the reasons why. That he did understand, thought it was good writing skills as any smart, educated man would say.  Who understand what I am doing, but then he states “How does it make you feel when you see me?”  Well, what I said was that I find it to be a  misunderstanding and no worries. That we never spoke about this, and I took the high road. As I sit with a crinkled face and look like I have ass face now. Just not a pretty look! Then I am more taken back that I am acting this way. So now we have to have the talk about dating others now and well I guess it is time. I just never thought that I would want to have the talk about dating other all because of a profile picture.

I am finding as I become older dating has changed; I am so far out of date. Like almost on the expired range but I do know that one thing is for sure.  That the Internal Radar has not changed, batteries are still good. That female radar one is working. So now I have to find and read a book if there is one on when to ask or do you ask if you want to be inclusive. When are a good times to do the talk, or do I continue to go my merry way and still see what is out there and date. Maybe another Gentlemen might see his moment to ask. I guess those are the chance we take in love. Just never know, allow nature to take its course. Give him the opportunity to let him figure it out?  Well at this point I am sure you are really not caring about that part of the article but about me coming out of the closet about my marriage. Yes, it is a big deal that I do not have had a Penis and yes it did end my marriage because of it.  At least, when I came out it, was not at 6 am in the morning on a Monday. Was when I gave everyone time to process it before Monday work day begins?

Smooches and Much Love,

Sabrina Ford